[T]RULY [E]MO ...

Pheewwwwwwww!!! I just had a super long and solemn conversation with my parents or should i say... mom most of the time with dad comin' in to interfere every once in awhile haha~ Well, it started out in a rather lugubrious manner. Mom'd been bringin' up those ill topics of my recent life yada yada which in simplicity...they shot me like ak47 and i was too vulnerable to even retaliate with my personally customized m16... darn!!! Anyhow, that long lecture of hers really made me cogitate 'bout certain things. Yeahhh, i've not been a good son, neither have i been a perfectly fine chap as well. But no one's impeccable in this world... even nelson mandela's been glued in prison for 27 years before he officially became a mogul of the nigga's. All the while i've been tryin' to achieve the best... attempt for the better... (ok, maybe not as exaggeratin' as it sounds... everyone knows i'm a lazy arse haha~) but somehow... the harder i strive, the greater my parents expectation will be. Sometimes i'm just freakin' fagged out from all these endeavors. God, i'm just a mere mortal... i'm not Bruce or Evan!!! I wish i could be like them but please God... don't make me build an ark to save baboons and giraffes. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Life's been really fucked up... i repeat... pretty FUCKED UP!!! just a month or so before this but then... i already am tryin' my best to consolidate my grip in life~ I'm not thousand-armed GuanYin!!! I can't contend with everythin' simultaneously!!! ROOOARRR ROOOOAARRRR!!! Even the emo-est person in the world can speak like a clown now... isn't that already a significant attainment!!!??? Sigh, i just don't know what to doodle on... arrghhhhh!!! Why am i livin' in such a complex world? Why can't i just be born with the Teletubbies!!!??? Everyday lala here lala there lala everywhere and that's it. That's all to life... lala is life, life is lala!!! A world without frustration... without worries... sigh, how i yearn for such Utopia. Nonetheless, i know it very well that i still gotta face all these shits. I'm a leadin' man... and a leadin' man will not fall so easily~ Well, not until he faces another fucked up heart-breakin' scenario in future... ARRGGGHHH!!! FUCK LOVE!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! Yet i'm still FUCKIN' indulged in LOVE!!! WHY WHY WHY? WHY DO I LOVE "ANIMALS" SO MUCH??? Ok, i really don't know where i rambled on already... so let's just skip all these emo shits and talk 'bout somethin' more... intriguin'~ Amidst this emo conversation i had with my parents, my mom abruptly intervened... askin' a rather peculiar question~ She said... boi, how's your THING? Does it still hurt? Do you still have fungus growin' around it? (ahem, no further details disclosed)... then the talk went on as my dad suddenly barged in the room sayin'... son, tomorrow you go see the doctor for CIRCUMCISION!!! Then he went on with his grandfather stories 'bout how he observed those malay boys being circumcised back then in his beloved kampung. It sounded dreadful though, in a way... especially when he told me how the bomoh pull the **** skin and chop it off just like that~ Some even became malaysia's honorable eunuch aka ah gua thanks to the mistreatment of circumcision...OUCHHHHHHH!!!

-_-"...WOWWW, MAGELOW ahhh, i wonder if everything's planned. I didn't even tell my dad 'bout my "urggghhh"... and yet he knows 'bout it somehow~ WALAAAOOO, next time cannot trust my mom already. Asked her not to confess it to others and she happily told my dad 'bout it. ARGGGHHHHH!!! Another sad, emo case for me. CONFOUND IT!!! CONFOUND 'EM ALL!!! DEWWWWW SERIBU KALI!!! Sigh, guess it's another emo night for me as the sayin' goes... ONCE EMO, FOREVER EMO...

[A]NECDOTES [O]F [L]IFE: [C]HAPTER [i] ...

A POST OF LESS WORDS, MORE VISUAL DEPICTION...

james' sunsilk shampoo ensemble... truly a sunsilk fan~

some fat dog i chance upon in some God-knows-where night market in KL...i wonder if it's a Husky's breed... really wanna bring it home to replace my bolster haha~

yep, that's my immaculately clean converse shoes and aunty ian's dirty shyt~ hahaha, i didn't know aunties fancy converse products also... hmmm, quite a discovery...

went to have dinner at some shitty teochew restaurant in ss14 with a SICK friend of mine...though awfully ill, he was surprisingly spry when it comes to pickin' dishes...and the worst part was, i had to pay RM13 for a bloody bowl of teochew congee!!! Everyone, please say after me...WHAT THE FxCK!!!???

a bucket for two...my cowliness, how am i suppose to lose weight when i always feast with them like that? Bang, u 2 x posa laa, jangan buat macam tgh b'posa laa!!!

just yesterday (20/9), i got to know some cool nigga friends of daniel in sanctuary...and when i say cool, i really meant it!!! they appeared exactly like what you see in those hip-hop mtv's...the way they speak (the accent), the way they walk, their gesture...everythin'---was like so yo-yo...wassup wassup kind~ -_-" nonetheless, i must admit their gestures could be quite perplexin' at times...up to the point where i thought the nig--ahem, i mean fine lad's askin' for time when he clenched his fist with knuckles facin' me, sayin' wassup bro? hmmpphhh...culture discrepancy can really be a big fuss...@.@

this plate of sugar may appear ordinary to you, my fellow viewer...but there's a HUGE, MOMENTOUS story (set in banana leaf)behind it~ read the followin' dialogue and you'll get what i mean...

cheebye-mun: bang, ada gula x? tolong ambik sikit ke mari...
waiter: apa?
cheebye-mun: gula...SIKIT GULAAA~~~
waiter: oh gular!!! ok!

-----5 mins later-----

waiter: *with a BIG plate of sugar* nah, gular...
myke&cheebye-mun: .................
mosquito: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

from the incident above, i've come to comprehend the word 'SIKIT' more...consequently, life's all 'bout learnin' i guess~ DEWNIAMA KASIH WAITER!!!

[L]EAVIN' [T]HE [W]ORLD [B]EHIND ...

My current song of obsession...

UNKNOWN SOLDIER ...

Borderline, dead inside,
I don't mind, falling to pieces
Count me in, violent, let's begin,
feeding the sickness
How do I, simplify, dislocate,
the enemies on the way

Show me what it's like,
to dream in black and white,
so I can leave this world tonight.

Full of fear, ever clear,
I'll be here, fighting forever
Curious, venomous, you'll find me,
climbing to heaven
Nevermind, turn back time, you'll be fine,
I will get left behind

Show me what it's like,
to dream in black and white,
so I can leave this world tonight.
Holding on too tight,
breathe the breath of life,
so I can leave this world behind.

It only hurts just once,
they're only broken bones,
hide the hate inside

WOW!

(So I can leave this world behind)

Show me what it's like,
to dream in black and white,
so I can leave this world tonight.
Holding on too tight,
breathe the breath of life,
so I can leave this world behind

L.o.V.e ...

As i was havin' my faggin' session just now, this motion suddenly conjured up in mind...

love creates,love destroys,
love brings happiness, love brings demise,
with love, inspiration kindles,
with inspiration, comes hope, comes future,
so shall we love or shall we not...
ponder upon it yourself...
goodnight peeps~

[M]&[M] ...

Just today, i had quite a pleasant and long chat with an old acquaintance of mine. As we conversed, i stumbled across this amusin' phrase that kept recurrin' in our conversation...MA-GE-LOW!!! So, what exactly is magelow? If you translate it literally to english, it means MOM'S MAN!!! And now, let us all muse upon the phrase, have a moment of silence and think of its significance~ ....... ....... ...... got anythin' in mind yet? If you haven't, fret not~ Allow me to impart a brief explanation on this piquant phrase. Similar to its 'relative', the omni-potent english-based word, FUCK!!! or DEWWW!!! in cantonese, magelow aka mom's man can be used practically and effectively in divers situation. For instance, just like F*CK, magelow can be used to express annoyance...eg: magelow, wtf you did to my banana? Ahem, that's just a basic example of the versatility and wonders of magelow!!! Other than that, magelow can also be used under situations as follow:-

1. to be used as an adjective; eg: u're vv magelow ge lar~
2. to express ignorance; eg: how i noe lar? magelow ah~
3. to express disturbance; eg: magelow, mom collin' di~
4. to express aggression; eg: magelow lei ah!!!
5. to express displeasure; eg: magelow, y u so faz cum wan?
6. to express pleasure; eg: magelow, dat chick damn chun weiii~
7. to express surprises; eg: magelow, dun scare me lar!!!
8. and the list goes on...

So do you concur with the practicality of magelow now? If you do, start sayin' MAGELOW!!! today~ As for those english-spoken mat salleh's, you may use mom's man as a replacement for the ever-wondrous MAGELOW!!! aite!

HAVE A WONDERFUL MAGELOW DAY EVERYONE!!!

[E]NIGMA [O]F [T]HE [D]AY ...

When was the last time you encountered things which appeared familiar, but eluded you somehow. Have you ever pondered if that's a dream or perhaps, deja vu? The picture above will be our enigma of the day...guess it right and you'll have your merit~ MALIBU DREAMS BABE~ MALIBUU~

[A] [S]EAFOOD [D]EBUT ...

HOLA LADIES & GENTLEMEN, BABIES & ELEPHANTS!!!!!!!! It's been awhile since i last blogged (which is like aeoooonnnnssss ago, ahem~) and now i'm officially back in BLOGGIN' business again babe!!! ay bay bay, ay bay bay, ay bay bay!!! Anyhow, as a debut to my first blogspot blog, allow me to introduce to ya'll, our most honorable guest of the day...MISS JEAN TAN HOI SIN!!! In this very post, i'll only blog 'bout this amusin', yet intriguin' lass...and yes, only her concerned. Guess everyone's anticipatin' this post of the year with utmost thrill and excitement, aye? Alright, with craps cut, here goes...

EARLY LIFE...

Jean Tan Hoi Sin...first crawled out from her mother's maternal glory hole and breathed fresh air of this wonderful world (namely Earth) sometime in july 1988 (exact date uncertain). Upon days of birth, she suffered from an odd disease, sanetifically christened as anti land-oxy syndrome in which she can hardly SUCK in oxygen on land. Hence, drastic measure was implemented to save this poor lil' gal. She was literally brought to quarantine and tended carefully underwater. As days passed, a huge swirlin' shell formed behind her back as scales appeared to be more apparent on her limbs and face as well. This bizarre phenomenon has left a deep trace in mankind's bio-science history. Her existence was a lucrative blessin' for fellow scientists and medical researchers as experiments conducted on her imparted a progressive evolution in both extraterrestrial and medical field. Nonetheless, after years of 'rehab' for her, things seem to get better finally. From being stuck in the crustacean category, she earnestly changed herself into an amphibian. Though eccentric, many people were envious of her auxiliary capability to dwell on both land and underwater. She even made her way to the World's Guinness Book of Record at just a mere age of 7. Accordin' to a recent interview with her, she was quoted sayin' that her adolescent life was rather unpleasant and she wouldn't want to mention much 'bout it. Thus, i guess it's best for me to skip this part off and jump to her present life instead...i clearly comprehend that certain things are better left unsaid........though i accidentally spoke some of them. But this is a blog and we're supposed to express whatever it is that we ought to express. Besides, i'm too lazy to edit what i'd typed so...forgive me miss hoi sin. I know you'll be kind enough to let me disclose your unique past. Oh, i truly sympathize miss jean seafood tan~ =(

PRESENT LIFE ...

Aite, i guess we've heard enough of miss jean's tragic past so let's talk 'bout her jolly-molly-holly life now. Well, her life's practically fine now...i guess. She's got all the cash she needs to shop for aquatic apparatus and wear (thanks to the kind support of the international ah-gua gal research institute). She gets to perform with her fellow dolphins and seals in the zoo. She gets hitched to a handsome tomato-man, named an-drewdrew (a semi-plant breed). She gets to eat whatever she wishes to eat. To infer, she's leadin' a luxurious life now. She's the glamorous, oooohhh, the flossy flossy. Oh, and here's another interestin' fact 'bout miss jean seafood tan. Up to my surprise, miss jean's got a very distinctive sense of taste (and i just get to know 'bout it recently)...she's tasted dynamo before and she's lovin' it now...........when i say dynamo, i'm referrin' to the detergent that you often see at grocery stores and supermarkets. Well, isn't that phenomenal? Isn't that a shockin'-monockin' discovery? I never knew that dynamo could serve as somethin' edible until miss jean told me 'bout it...i feel so ashamed of myself now for bein' so ignorant before this. For those of you who knows naught 'bout it also...please, go and have a sip of dynamo then lay yourself on bed and repent~ Apart from that, hailin' all the way from teluk intan, she's got a good command of 'mandalin' as well albeit it sounds a lil' different from the usual mandarin i've heard at times. I'll never forget the 'mandalin' she's taught me all the while...especially when it comes to dealin' with coins. My 'mandalin' was so bad that she had to admonish me right in front of the cashier while we were havin' this shoppin' mania in mid valley's jusco. The followin' dialogue depicts our conversation at that very moment...

myke: eiii jean...dat cashier speaks 2 me in mandalin lar. hw? i damn cha in it weiii~

miss jean: no ploblem, i'll help u out. u cn count on me.

myke: geee, thnx jean. ur d' bez~ lei hai jui 'hao' DE!!!

miss jean: welCUM welCUM. nw go tok 2 dat cashier.

myke: ow---o---k.

*as myke tries his best to speak to the cashier...he finally stumbles and realizes that he couldn't go on anymore...so then he whispers to jean*

myke: pssst pssst, eiii, i wanna ask him if he cud gimme small change fr diz RM1 note~ i wan a change of 20 cent's...hw 2 tel him r? hw 2 say 20 cent in mandalin agn r?

miss jean: *proudly & loudly speaks to the cashier* qing wen ni ke yi bang wo huan LANJIAO qian mah?

*APPLAUSE APPLAUSE!!!* let's give a thunderous round of applause to miss jean seafood tan for her eloquent, yet fluent use of mandalin!!!

FUUUUUHHHHHHH, i guess i ought to put a halt to this post already. I'm too tired to go on, too selfish to tell you peeps more 'bout this UNIQUE friend of mine...well, only for tonight. I'll keep you guys updated when she 'updates' me with more peculiar occurrence~ Hope you peeps enjoyed readin' this masterpiece...have a nice day/week/year ahead and God bless you all for checkin' this blog out~ This is myke bloggin' and i'm signin' off...

Ohhh ohhh...before that...i think i'll post a few pictures first to complement this wonderful post of mine before gettin' off~ God bless ya'll again~

introducin'...miss JEAN TAN HOI SIN!!!

miss seafood & her tomato-man...

that's me tamin' miss seafood when she runs amok...

summonin' the seafood within...