behind.these.monochromatic.iris: [A] [S]EAFOOD [D]EBUT ...

HOLA LADIES & GENTLEMEN, BABIES & ELEPHANTS!!!!!!!! It's been awhile since i last blogged (which is like aeoooonnnnssss ago, ahem~) and now i'm officially back in BLOGGIN' business again babe!!! ay bay bay, ay bay bay, ay bay bay!!! Anyhow, as a debut to my first blogspot blog, allow me to introduce to ya'll, our most honorable guest of the day...MISS JEAN TAN HOI SIN!!! In this very post, i'll only blog 'bout this amusin', yet intriguin' lass...and yes, only her concerned. Guess everyone's anticipatin' this post of the year with utmost thrill and excitement, aye? Alright, with craps cut, here goes...

EARLY LIFE...

Jean Tan Hoi Sin...first crawled out from her mother's maternal glory hole and breathed fresh air of this wonderful world (namely Earth) sometime in july 1988 (exact date uncertain). Upon days of birth, she suffered from an odd disease, sanetifically christened as anti land-oxy syndrome in which she can hardly SUCK in oxygen on land. Hence, drastic measure was implemented to save this poor lil' gal. She was literally brought to quarantine and tended carefully underwater. As days passed, a huge swirlin' shell formed behind her back as scales appeared to be more apparent on her limbs and face as well. This bizarre phenomenon has left a deep trace in mankind's bio-science history. Her existence was a lucrative blessin' for fellow scientists and medical researchers as experiments conducted on her imparted a progressive evolution in both extraterrestrial and medical field. Nonetheless, after years of 'rehab' for her, things seem to get better finally. From being stuck in the crustacean category, she earnestly changed herself into an amphibian. Though eccentric, many people were envious of her auxiliary capability to dwell on both land and underwater. She even made her way to the World's Guinness Book of Record at just a mere age of 7. Accordin' to a recent interview with her, she was quoted sayin' that her adolescent life was rather unpleasant and she wouldn't want to mention much 'bout it. Thus, i guess it's best for me to skip this part off and jump to her present life instead...i clearly comprehend that certain things are better left unsaid........though i accidentally spoke some of them. But this is a blog and we're supposed to express whatever it is that we ought to express. Besides, i'm too lazy to edit what i'd typed so...forgive me miss hoi sin. I know you'll be kind enough to let me disclose your unique past. Oh, i truly sympathize miss jean seafood tan~ =(

PRESENT LIFE ...

Aite, i guess we've heard enough of miss jean's tragic past so let's talk 'bout her jolly-molly-holly life now. Well, her life's practically fine now...i guess. She's got all the cash she needs to shop for aquatic apparatus and wear (thanks to the kind support of the international ah-gua gal research institute). She gets to perform with her fellow dolphins and seals in the zoo. She gets hitched to a handsome tomato-man, named an-drewdrew (a semi-plant breed). She gets to eat whatever she wishes to eat. To infer, she's leadin' a luxurious life now. She's the glamorous, oooohhh, the flossy flossy. Oh, and here's another interestin' fact 'bout miss jean seafood tan. Up to my surprise, miss jean's got a very distinctive sense of taste (and i just get to know 'bout it recently)...she's tasted dynamo before and she's lovin' it now...........when i say dynamo, i'm referrin' to the detergent that you often see at grocery stores and supermarkets. Well, isn't that phenomenal? Isn't that a shockin'-monockin' discovery? I never knew that dynamo could serve as somethin' edible until miss jean told me 'bout it...i feel so ashamed of myself now for bein' so ignorant before this. For those of you who knows naught 'bout it also...please, go and have a sip of dynamo then lay yourself on bed and repent~ Apart from that, hailin' all the way from teluk intan, she's got a good command of 'mandalin' as well albeit it sounds a lil' different from the usual mandarin i've heard at times. I'll never forget the 'mandalin' she's taught me all the while...especially when it comes to dealin' with coins. My 'mandalin' was so bad that she had to admonish me right in front of the cashier while we were havin' this shoppin' mania in mid valley's jusco. The followin' dialogue depicts our conversation at that very moment...

myke: eiii jean...dat cashier speaks 2 me in mandalin lar. hw? i damn cha in it weiii~

miss jean: no ploblem, i'll help u out. u cn count on me.

myke: geee, thnx jean. ur d' bez~ lei hai jui 'hao' DE!!!

miss jean: welCUM welCUM. nw go tok 2 dat cashier.

myke: ow---o---k.

*as myke tries his best to speak to the cashier...he finally stumbles and realizes that he couldn't go on anymore...so then he whispers to jean*

myke: pssst pssst, eiii, i wanna ask him if he cud gimme small change fr diz RM1 note~ i wan a change of 20 cent's...hw 2 tel him r? hw 2 say 20 cent in mandalin agn r?

miss jean: *proudly & loudly speaks to the cashier* qing wen ni ke yi bang wo huan LANJIAO qian mah?

*APPLAUSE APPLAUSE!!!* let's give a thunderous round of applause to miss jean seafood tan for her eloquent, yet fluent use of mandalin!!!

FUUUUUHHHHHHH, i guess i ought to put a halt to this post already. I'm too tired to go on, too selfish to tell you peeps more 'bout this UNIQUE friend of mine...well, only for tonight. I'll keep you guys updated when she 'updates' me with more peculiar occurrence~ Hope you peeps enjoyed readin' this masterpiece...have a nice day/week/year ahead and God bless you all for checkin' this blog out~ This is myke bloggin' and i'm signin' off...

Ohhh ohhh...before that...i think i'll post a few pictures first to complement this wonderful post of mine before gettin' off~ God bless ya'll again~